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So I decided to explore why I could love white men like family but not envision them as potential partners. Love for men who move through the world in ways that remind me of my father. A black man comfortable in his skin and walking in his purpose remains the ideal. There is also the fact that I was raised a good Southern black woman, albeit one freer than most.

Fear of being ostracized by those very same men or fetishized by their white counterparts. I grew up surrounded by handsome black men who were strong-minded, hard-working, upwardly mobile and worldly. At a home, it was understood that if Billy Dee Williams — not Paul Newman, not Richard Gere — should ever knock on our door, my mother was leaving with him. Still, as a rule, good Southern black women do not dishonor their communities or betray their history by willingly sleeping with white men. The same grace that is extended to black men who date white women is not as easily extended to black women who do the same.

C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship. Lachon, who is seeing a White man, has experienced her share of adverse reaction.

"I've come across a lot of men who tell me I should be ashamed and say things like, "It's not too late to come home" or "He won't know what to do with all of that." I've heard it all. But the negative comments can be more distressing when they come from family or close friends.

Asia Diggs Meador, 33, had never considered marrying outside her race.

Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.

Similarly racist fliers from the alt-right have been found on the University of Oklahoma and University of Michigan campuses this month.

One is named after Nathan Bedford Forrest, a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army. Both are men I would trust to raise and protect my son should the need arise. Or wonder whether Justin Timberlake’s prowess on the dance floor translated into, well, other areas. It was not a hard-and-fast rule, as in: I don’t date white guys.

The welfare of certain segments of our community will always provoke an emotional response from me—people of color, women, children, the elderly—but for the most part, I consider myself to be a fairly chilled spirit.

In fact, 99% of the time I am completely unbothered.

As I was scrolling through my newsfeed for what I am sure was the seventh time, I came across a video shared by one of my FB friends. Within the first 45 seconds, I could feel my body getting hot. By the third minute mark, I couldn’t figure out if the tears forming in my eyes were from anger or sheer disgust.

For almost ten minutes, I watched a White woman shamelessly bash Black women.




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